I have been a coward my whole life, by O'Brien's definition. I have always felt anger towards particular people and have, at many points in my life, wished physical harm towards them. More times than less, I have wanted to do the hurting myself. However, I was raised by a relatively peaceful family in a generally peaceful comminity. I have had kind friends my hole life, and have established a certain way that people view me. Hitting or kicking or lashing out in any way toward the people I hate would only degrade me and bring shame to my family. My community would shift their view of me, and my reputation would be scarred. Therefore I have never lashed out in a way I couldn't recover from. I have never physically attacked anybody, however much I may want to. I consider this to be cowardice and brave. I run away from my true emotions, but controlling them makes me proud.