Yes, there have been many times throughout my life that I have, by O'Brien's definition, been a coward. As much as I'd like to pride myself in being a "strong" person, I have definitely faltered and made mistakes because I didn't listen to myself or my intuition. Looking back, this was particularly evident when I was in 8th grade. Of course, finding identity at that age is hard for everyone, but I completely lost myself. I wanted so badly to fit in, whatever that meant I don't know, so I befriended a group of girls that I probably shouldn't have. Although I went to a small Hippie school, they were the mean girls, the queen bees, the popular ones. I liked having the recognition, but what I began to realize that I was being recognized for the wrong things. I was downright nasty to people, breaking them apart just so I could feel better about myself. I started to hate myself for being so cruel, but it got to a point that being mean is what made me feel better about myself, at least temporarily, because I felt like I was in control. And the girls that I was friends with encouraged this behavior, so although I hated it, it was what made me popular. 

That was the most cowardly thing I have ever done and I wish that I could take that back because that's not me, that's never been me, and let's hope I never lose myself enough to sink back to that level ever again.